Searching for Meaning and Aiming for Progress

It’s hard to keep my eyes open on the bus every morning. I work the night shift and it’s taxing. I crave sleep and the comfort of my room, sometimes food as well. Today, I got up from my seat on the bus in an effort to stay awake. I settled between two people in front of the back doors, and with every stop, the bus got more crowded, people moved closer to me, and claustrophobia kicked in:

“Look at all these people,” I thought. “They have germs. We’re all breathing the same air. Is it just me or is it getting warmer in here because we’re all breathing the same air?  I think I can smell everybody’s B.O….” 

I exited the bus before I had to.

Saved from rush hour, I thought about the day I will reclaim the privilege of sleeping at night. It’s not the worst thing ever, but this job sure is difficult. I’m trying to rebuild financial stability after five years of not having any ground, you know? Trying to figure out the course of my life while collecting a steady paycheque. Thinking about my future has got me so stressed out, I wish I would stop worrying somehow.

Without difficult, lonely, or desperate moments, self-improvement can’t happen. Life-changing events crash into our lives and wreak havoc as quickly as a dangerous storm, but unfortunately, it may take months or years to rebuild. We have to remain patient, because nature takes its time, and life is only natural.

Here’s a great quote about patience and work:

If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favour freedom and yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without ploughing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.

—Frederick Douglass, 1857

So please, just keep working on yourself. One day, we will see the fruits of our labor.